Somebody is thinking about someone they know. Deepening behind tightly sealed lips, is the hum of all the things they can’t admit. This person has no clue. It’ll be World War 3 before they confess, and we all know that’s never going to happen…

Fragments of a declaration. An unknown ending. That was the final catharsis. Their lips will forever remain tightly sealed. 

How long has it been?
I wrote you a letter in 2010
In 03 we shook hands over the table at yours
Years and years and years, mmm

When will you know?
When interlaced fingers are forced to let go
When canons come calling from over that hill
Years and years and years, mmm
Years and years and years, mmm

Now canons are calling
The land lust of him draws a love lust from me
I fumble for as few words, that should fill you in
Years and years and years, mmm

To my dearest friend
You’re the best book I’m reading that teases no end
As certain as roses remind you of home
Years and years and years, mmm

I saw you in line
You fought for our freedom while I fought for time
How long will I wonder what you could have said?
Years and years and years, mmm
Years and years and years
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

About Years and Years

Years and Years is about things long hidden. It’s about war, how war affects lives and how lives are about so much more than survival. It’s about time and love and the loss of both. 

As one of my first forays into songwriting, it’s also a personal reflection of a recent discovery I made about myself. 

In 2020 I finally recognised that I am bisexual. I spent years and years completely unable to acknowledge this very important truth about myself. Yes, important! To hide anything of yourself, big or small, is a bad thing. 


I can clearly feel the difference too. I’ve finally liberated myself from feeling dormant, uncertain and constantly doubtful of my creative choices. Since my late teens, I’ve always felt, despite my best efforts, I under achieved at everything. As if I was on the wrong path and I was the one standing in my own way. Now I know, that to feel successful and view the world through a positive lens, it is crucial that this aspect of me is firmly welcomed by the rest of my identity. This part of me that somehow got locked away all those years ago, was indeed fighting for my freedom. Maybe I will wonder, if only for a little while, what I could’ve said, done or become.

It’s not difficult to see why this happened to me and why it continues to happen to others. Despite the fact that my sexuality would have been accepted by the world around me back in the late 90s, it is still the case today that queer people always have to go through this realisation phase.

Heteronormative World

And it goes far beyond having to rise above hate speech and ignorance (at least it should. Unfortunately we’re still fighting that). We live in a heteronormative world and we all assume our kids are straight. That convention alone is a very powerful and heavy anchor for someone who isn’t. Especially if the confidence you needed to come out, is the very thing that’s trapped inside. As a result, I buried my sexuality for a long time. I assumed the ‘phase’ was over and that, since I was married, it was irrelevant. 

However, I see this with positivity and not regret. I’m finally giving myself freely to my creativity. It’s about understanding myself better, and the way in which I connect with people. That’s why creativity and sexuality are so integrated and central to our identity. I use what I create to build connections with people. And that’s why I’m so keen to share my journey through music. For the first time in my life, I know what I want to say, which part I want to share. So by simply being able to say that I am me, I see choices with more clarity. I feel less anchored, more lifted. I haven’t changed, I’m simply visible.

Now that I have this awareness, my hope is that my children, if they too fall outside ‘the norm’, won’t face all the same challenges. For their benefit, I can be proud. And even if it doesn’t reach them, it will reach the people around them. The reason why Pride looks so wonderful from the outside, is that it feels exactly that good on the inside. And every single person deserves to experience that.